didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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