You're my little dorito
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
