i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
is wine microwaveable?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
