So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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