I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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