Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
