I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
