i jhust puked up my retainher.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
