i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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