so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
