dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She's the barista slut.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize