shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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