hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
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