Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
