you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
