So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My ass is underappreciated
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
