tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize