I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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