Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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