I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
