Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize