Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
