A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
