i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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