he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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