My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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