I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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