I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
