I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
the day after is always just damage control
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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