then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize