One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
