who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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