hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
