dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
