Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Randomize
