Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
