Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Text me some of your sweat
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