Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
