Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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