dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
