I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
