You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize