That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
