they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
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Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
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it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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