no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
