There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
How does one acquire holy water?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize