your thong is hanging out like whoa
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
We named our party play list daddy issues
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
