did you get engaged???
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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