Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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