Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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