this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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