i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
