hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize