This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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