Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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