hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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