omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
