I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
