Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
he's gonorrhea incarnate
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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