So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize