yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
