Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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