Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
