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yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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