Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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