Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
